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Being a celebrity - my pros for and cons against
March 17, 2009
I’m not a celebrity, not even a minor one, and this is mostly a good thing.
Here’s two reasons why it would be cool to be a celebrity.
1) I would be rich.
2) I would be famous.
More importantly, here’s three reasons why it would suck.
1) I am camera shy
2) I have a voice that’s perfect for silent movies, and a face fit for radio.
3) Being part of a celebrity family would suck - big time.
I think the only one of these points that needs clarifying at all is the last one, so I will do so. I’ll use the lovely Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal as my surrogate family.
Hell, I’ll just pretend that I am Jake Gyllenhaal and be done with it.
Jake Gyllenhaal topless
Here’s what one of my days would be like:
Wake up beside some hot brunette who I met the night before, haven’t got a clue what her name is.
Look in mirror - think to self ‘gosh I’m a hottie’.
Buy stuff online - think to self ‘gosh I’m rich!’
Go out - party with friends, get drunk, play up to the cameras that are taking sly photos of me.
Go home, a little tipsy, a little horny, but alone.
Sit down in front of the TV, unzip and whip out Jake Jnr, grab the TV remote and start flicking through the channels for flesh.
Bingo - land on a film of some sort with a smokin-hot-brunette all nekkid and writhing around on the bed.
Jake Jnr also appears interested and sits up for a better view - he looks scared so I should hold him, and stroke him for comfort.
Camera pans up naked smokin-hot-brunette’s legs, past the pleasure box, stops momentarily on the beautiful breasts and then - oh, no! OMFG. It’s Maggie! My sister’s in a film and Jnr is loving her acting skills.
This is bad.
It’s wrong on so many levels.
…should I stop?
Well…I’m nearly there and if I close my left eye I can block out her face.
It is a smokin-hot-body and all.
Yeah…I should stop.
Maggie Gyllenhaal - alas, not topless
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[...] the not-so-recent post I made featuring Jake & Maggie Gyllenhaal (Being a celebrity - my pros for and cons against) I’ve had many hits looking for this brother and sister; mostly featuring the word topless or [...]