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Flirting 101
February 23, 2009
Scene: lift going from floor 8 - floor 0, I hold lift door for INCREDIBLY HOT BRUNETTE who can’t possibly live in this block of flats because every other resident seems to have been born here when it was built in the 1930s. Girl to be known as IHB from hereon.
Flirting Win
IHB: Hello, thank you (super sexy lady smile)
Me: Well hello, you’re welcome (with emphasis on ‘well hello’ as if I was in Up Pompeii)
awkward pause - I furrow my brow.
Me: Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so…pervy.
IHB: How pervy did you mean for it to sound?
Me: um…on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being friendly and flirtatious, and 10 being wanting to lewdly suggest the seriously kinky shit I want to do with you - I would say a 7.
IHB: Shame…if it had been an 8 you may have got somewhere.
Lift stops, she walks off leaving me to daydream all day.
Flirting Fail
IHB: Hello, thank you (super sexy lady smile)
Me: (Eating a banana so cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk) You’re welcome (bits of banana fly in her direction.)
awkward silence between floor 8 and ground floor
Me: (banana in mouth now swallowed, the rest remains uneaten) Hope you have a nice day!
I reach over to pull the door open for her (one of those old style cage doors) and stand on her foot.
IHB: OW!
She limps off leaving me and my half eaten banana feeling a little insecure.
Win or Fail - Guess which I did this morning?
Comments
4 Responses to “Flirting 101”
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I’m going to guess that you stole a banana from the monkeys in the basement.
Ah, you know me too well
Mxx
He he, it happens to the best of us. Sxx
Obviously I haven’t seen her since…and doubt I ever will
Mxx