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Happy Birthday, I Hate You
July 16, 2008
I’m complaining about a lot of things lately. It’s not that I’m unhappy and angry at the world…more that a lot of things just seem to be disorganised, or ineffective to me at the present time. With so many things happening I tend to concentrate on the negative and not the positive, and during these times the negativity in things I normally take a deep breath at is enhanced.
Today, it’s birthday cards.
I’m a guy, and I take little time in deciding many things.
If I need a new pair of shoes, I’ll go into the shop, find a pair that fit and generally buy them. Yes, there are several different styles and several diffierent stores, but if they are black, look smart and fit - I’m happy.
Same goes with the majority of other clothes I buy.
Same went for the Tux I’ve hired.
When it comes to birthday cards I’m not buying for myself - they’re for other people. I like to pick a card that the person may like for one reason or another. Earlier this year I bought several cards when I saw them in the shop, as I knew they could be given to specific people when their birthday comes around.
Today I went to buy a card for someone I work with who celebrates their birthday tomorrow…and I must say that all cards now are crap!
Stores seem to have a selection of cards with crap images, a selection of cards with crap jokes, and a selection of cards with random text on it. Otherwise you just get a card with a big number on it and a picture of a football player or princess if you’re below 20, beer or cake if you’re below 50, champagne or flowers if you’re below 70.
Card shops seem to think you must die when 70 as there don’t seem to be any above that age.
I refuse to spend 2-3 pound on something crass that I really can’t imagine anyone liking or buying.
I need to buy cards in bulk on the rare occasions when I do see good ones, otherwise I will have to choose something that is horrible and meaningless (sorry to those I’ve sent cards to recently).
The only cards I’ve consistently liked over the past few years are those by Anne Taintor (currently being ripped off by replicas in most card shops), and The New Yorker.
I don’t want cards with cock jokes and tit gags, or with words of ‘wisdom’, and certainly not with a big number and a pint of beer.
Unless it comes with a badge…of course - then I don’t care what it looks like.
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I generally like Hallmark cards. They have a huge selection and I can almost always find one that is good and appropriate for the person (and/or occasion) I am giving it to.